just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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