i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
No stitches, just platelets and will power
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
