I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
