This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize