Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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