Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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