I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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