I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize