i already hear my dad disowning me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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