I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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