rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
