Your dad touched me again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
