I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
