Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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