Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
its liver damage thursday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
