He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
