I'm really into asian looking animals
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
