Small penises have feelings too.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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