DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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