At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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