this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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