I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize