he wants to bone in the snuggie
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This house was built for laser tag.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
