just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
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Your cock deserves a montage
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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