He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
