i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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