Will you blow on my dice?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
