You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
