i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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