We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
