I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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