HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
