my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
