who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
