I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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