Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
