apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
