It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
