i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
