Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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