pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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