Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
