Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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