i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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