Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
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