I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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