New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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