do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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