People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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