Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
