I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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