Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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