I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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