no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
