i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
