he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
