haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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