Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
