Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How naked do you want me to be?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
