He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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