I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
