at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
