Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
